16 days down.

2011 brought me a lot of happiness, but mostly sadness, misery, terror, shock, torture, and massive amounts of pain.
I can't remember all of the happy, positive things that happened in 2011 without thinking of the bad things.
I know that some happiness DID happen in 2011, but I can't remember what any of it really was. When I think of last year, I think of all the mental, emotional, and physical pain that occurred.

I know that the majority of thing bad things that happened was not my fault.
But there were a few things I could've kept from happening.

I can't keep focusing on the bad that happened, and how I could've stopped things, or how I could've kept things from even starting.
It's in the past now.

I forgave everyone, I forgave myself, and I've asked everyone for forgiveness.

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2012 is going to be different. And has been. It's been SO much better so far.

This year is going to God.
He's giving me this year, He deserves all the praise for it being so amazing so far.
I gave my life to Him January 1st, and so I'm going to live for Him, and only Him.
I strive to become closer to Him.
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I am determined to make 2012 the greatest year of my life, and the first chapter of a new beginning.
I am currently working on getting into shape, becoming a healthy young adult, taking control over my life -mainly by giving it up to God, but also by choosing my friends very, very carefully-, and being more positive.

Started a new "diet" that I made up. It's really more of a new lifestyle. I thought back on the past and realized nothing I ever tried before ever worked. I'd keep weight off for a little while, then bring it right back up. I'd cut things out of my life, cold turkey, and I always found myself bringing them right back in. Nothing ever worked, because I was never doing anything correctly.

So this time, instead of starting off cutting everything out by saying to myself "I can't have this, this, this, this, or this." But rather what I did was just bring in everything healthy, and eating all that healthy food alone for the first few days, made me not crave anything unhealthy. But now, when I do have a random craving for like, cheesecake, or doughnuts, or something like that, I can feel less guilty about it than I would if I were forcing/depriving myself of those things. I didn't tell myself I couldn't have those things, I totally can. But since I got addicted and used to the fruits and vegetables, I've not been craving the chips, and the cakes, and the sodas. I did, however, challenge myself not to have a soda for the whole year. So, I can't have the soda, even if I crave it.

I have been doing things that are completely unexpected of me. Well, I mean, in the back of their minds, it's expected, because it's what they want. But I've been doing things without being asked or told. Becoming a better daughter and a better friend. And I'm not doing them with a bad spirit. I pray a little prayer before any job I undergo. I ask God to help me do the task without grumbling or complaining. I'm helping others while also building my character.

There is one main reason why I'm whipping myself into shape, and that is God. He gave this body to me, and He made it beautiful. And all I've been doing for 21 years is destroying it. In so many different ways. This came to my attention this year, also. I realized that this isn't my body, it doesn't belong to me. It's my Creator's. God made it for me. I'm wearing this body, yes, but it's not fully mine. It's like if someone let you borrow their hoodie, they gave it to you to wear. If you have respect for that person, you wouldn't do anything to their hoodie to ruin it.

I have one other reason why I'm working hard to lose weight and tone my body, but I can't tell anyone. It's a total secret. Well, two other people know. But besides them, it's a complete secret. I'm so excited!

The year is just getting better and better as it goes on. I pray it continues like this for the whole year.