I've been ill all weekend. And when I am ill, I become pretty pathetic. So, I was perfectly pathetic this weekend.
But it was okay, because I used my illness as an excuse to watch movies practically the whole time.
Movies I watched:
Another Cinderella Story
Teen Witch
Bewitched
Practical Magic
Miss Congeniality
Pretty Woman
Fire Proof
Letters to Juliet
A Cinderella Story
And I kind of want to watch Fire Proof again before I go to sleep.
I highly recommend it, it is such an amazing movie.
I'm not supposed to be on the computer right now.
Every challenge I set for myself, this year, I've failed already.
Except for no sodas all year.
But other than that, every one, every challenge I challenged myself, failed.
Given up.
Just like that.
What a failure I am.
I'm not very strong-willed at all.
It makes me so frustrated sometimes.
But I can't change.
I try to change.
That's what I'm doing with these challenges.
I'm trying to improve myself.
I guess.
-sigh-
I just want to feel missed.
Is that too much to ask for?
I just want to feel loved so much that if I'm gone for a few days, I'll get a few, at least a few, people trying to talk to me, in some way, because they miss me.
But I'm not missed, huh?
They say they want me to finish my challenge, and that they don't want me to give up on myself.
Even if that may be true, it just feels like they just don't want me to talk to them.
They were looking forward to that month-long vacation from me..
ugh fhjgjbhj,gj
Maybe I'm just too hard on myself, right?
Not like I had anybody's actions, or lack there of, put these thoughts into my head.
Oh no.
I totally just thought all this up on my own.
..........
I did, however, start this challenge to grow closer to God.
And all I did was prove to myself and to Him what I love more.
I'm just realizing this.
He's showing me now.
I'm so stupid.
I guess I'm just feeling a bit lonely.
I didn't think it would be easy,
I just didn't imagine it would be this hard.
-------------
In my own little word,
there would be no television
or phones
or computers.
Just people with instruments, making music
not for money
but because they love making music,
and because it makes them happy.
And there would be no cars.
I don't trust cars.
People would travel by foot, or horse back.
And running late wouldn't be a problem,
because clocks wouldn't exist.
And everybody would be a family,
and see each other as family.
And there would be no money.
Bakers would bake because they love baking.
Restaurants would exist only to serve people, not
to get money.
It's not a business, it's not a job.
People do what they do because it's what needs to be done,
and they actually love doing it.
If your neighbor needed milk, you would go to your barn and milk your own cow.
Because you know that if you were in their position, you would want the same
done for you.
The people in my world would understand the truth about race.
That there is only one race; the human race.
Just because someone has darker or lighter skin than you means nothing at all.
No two birds sing the same song.
There are no black people or white people.
There's just people.
Martin Luther King Jr, was not a black man.
He was just a man.
And I am just a girl.
And we are all just people.
Not only that, we are all a family.
If you treated everyone in the world, like the way you treat your family,
or vice versa, can you even imagine the difference that would make?
In my little world, thinking of self, didn't happen until everyone else is served.
You're hungry, I get that, but you don't need to shove
everyone else aside to be the first in line.
Running late? Understandable, but you don't need to run everybody over to make it there.
Stop rushing through life.
Stop thinking only of yourself and of your future.
Stop your addictions and obsessions with the stupid paper that buys things.
You guys, it's just paper.
Paper.. from a tree.
You're stealing, and killing, and hurting, and using, and lying for, what?
Little rectangle pieces of.. paper.
If all of man kind would focus on these three things, in this particular order,
the world would be such a better place
for everyone;
God first
Others second
Self last.
----
Well.
Enough ranting for now.
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